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Children Joke: 111
| A little Catholic kid was praying as hard as he could.
'God,' he prayed, 'I really want a car.'
Jumping up and dashing to the window, he saw that the driveway was empty.
'God,' he prayed again, 'I really NEED a car.'
Still no answer to his prayers. Suddenly the kid stood up, ran into his
parents' bedroom, and grabbed the statuette of the Virgin Mary off the
mantelpiece. He wrapped it up in ten layers of paper, using three rolls of
tape and a spool of twine, then stuffed it inside a box at the very bottom
of his closet.
'Okay, God,' he said, getting down onto his knees again, 'if you ever want
to see your mother again...'
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Children Joke: 112
Little Johnny is in the bathroom taking a pee when the toilet seat falls
down on top of his penis. He starts screaming and crying. His mom comes
running into the room wondering what's going on. He tells his mother
"Mommy, the toilet seat fell on top of my penis. Kiss it better."
"Johnny you are getting more and more like your father everyday."
His mother says.
Children Joke: 113
A kid goes up to his father and says, "Hey, Pop, know how old I am today?"
His father says, "No...how old?"
He says, "I'm eleven!"
He goes into the kitchen and says to his grandmother, "Hey, Grandma, know
how old I am today?"
She says, "Come closer..."
She unzips his jeans and reaches her thin, spotted arm down into his
underwear. She fondles his genitals for a few minutes and then she says,
"You're eleven."
He says, "How could you tell?"
She says, "I heard you tell your father."
Children Joke: 114
Teacher: Johnny, give me a sentence starting with "I".
Little Johnny: I is...
Teacher: No, Little Johnny. Always say "I am."
Little Johnny: All right. "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
Children Joke: 115
A rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy: "So your mother says
your prayers for you each night? Very commendable. What does she
say?"
The little boy replied, "Thank God he's in bed!"
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