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Children Joke: 66
| A sixth grade class is doing some spelling drills. The teacher
asks Tommy if he can spell 'before.' He stands up and says,
"Before, B-E-P-H-O-R."
The teacher says, "No, that's wrong. Can anyone else spell
before?"
Another little boy stands up and says, "Before, B-E-F-O-O-R."
Again the teacher says, "No, that's wrong." The teacher asks,
"Little Johnny, can you spell 'before'?"
Little Johnny stands up and says, "Before, B-E-F-O-R-E."
"Excellent Johnny, now can you use it in a sentence?"
Little Johnny says, "That's easy. Two plus two be fore."
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Children Joke: 67
The Teacher tells the class they are going to play a game,
she will describe an object and the students will tell her
what she had described.
Teacher: "The first object is Red, Round, and has a stem."
Timmy: " I know what it is, it's an apple."
Teacher: "That's right, I like the way you're thinking."
"OK the next item is round, has a peel, and you eat it."
Christopher: "I know what it is, it's an orange."
Teacher: "That's right, I like the way you're thinking."
Johnny: "Can I try, Teacher?"
Teacher: "Yes Johnny, but, Keep it clean!"
Johnny sticks his hands in his pockets and feels around for a
second, and says "My object is round, hard, and has a head on it."
Teacher: "Alright Johnny, go to the office!"
Johnny: "No Teacher, it's a quarter, but, I like the way you're thinking!"
Children Joke: 68
One day at the end of class little Billy's teacher has the class go home
and think of a story and then conclude the moral of that story.
The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer
to tell a story. Suzy said, "Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the
truck and drive into town to sell them at the market. Well, one Sunday
we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of the basket and onto the
road." The teacher asks for the moral of the story. Suzy replies,
"Don't keep all your eggs in one basket."
Next is little Lucy. "Well, my dad owns a farm too and every weekend we
take the chicken eggs and put them in the incubator. Last weekend only
8 of the 12 eggs hatched." The teacher asks for the moral of the story.
Lucy replies "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched."
Last is little Billy. "My uncle Ted fought in the Vietnam war; his plane
was shot down over enemy territory. He jumped out before it crashed with
only a case of beer, a machine gun and a machete. On the way down he
drank the case of beer. Unfortunately, he landed right in the middle of
100 Vietnamese soldiers. He shot 70 with his machine gun but ran out of
bullets, so he pulled out his machete and killed 20 more. The blade on
his machete broke, so he killed the last ten with his bare hands".
The teacher looks in shock at Billy and asks if there is possibly any
moral to his story. Billy replies, "Don't fuck with uncle Ted when he's
been drinking."
Children Joke: 69
One day, when Billy came home from school, his mom
asked him how his day went. He said, "We're learning
about sexual education." She smiled, and said, "At
least he's learning something usefull." Billy went up
to his room. A little later, Billy's mom went up to his
room to call him down to dinner. She opens his door and
sees him jerking off. She says, "Billy, when you're
done with your homework, supper's on the table."
Children Joke: 70
There is a child molester and a young boy walking through a deep remote
forest. After a while the boy gets very cold and frightened so he says,
"Mister i'm scared and cold, please let me go",the child molester cries out,
"You think your scared I have to walk home alone!"
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