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Children Joke: 56
| One Sunday morning the pastor noticed little Johnny was
standing staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of
the church. The young man of seven had been staring at the
plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up and stood
beside him and gazing up at the plaque he said quietly, "Good
morning son."
"Good morning pastor" replied the young man not taking his
eyes off the plaque. "Sir, what is this?" Johnny asked.
"Well son, these are all the people who have died in the
service", replied the pastor. Soberly, they stood together
staring up at the large plaque.
Little Johnny's voice barely broke the silence when he asked
quietly, "Which one sir, the 8:30 or the 10:30?"
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Children Joke: 57
Her teenage son was having trouble mastering the fine points of
balancing his new checking account. "The bank returned the
check you wrote to the sporting goods store," she said.
"Oh good," he said, "Now I can use it to buy some stereo
equipment!"
Children Joke: 58
Little Johnny is in class. The teacher is going through the alphabet,
having each child think up a word that starts with a letter. They get
to "W", and the teacher figures Little Johnny can't think up anything
dirty with a "W" so she calls on him.
"Womb!", Little Johnny says.
"That's a good word, Johnny", teacher says. "Is that as in where babies
come from?" she asks.
"No", says Johnny, "That's the sound elephants make when they're
screwing... you know, "Womb! Womb! Womb!"
Children Joke: 59
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree ?
- Because it was dead.
Why did the baby fall out of the tree ?
- Because it was stapled to the monkey.
Children Joke: 60
A teacher was working with a group of underprivileged children,
trying to broaden their horizons through sensory exploration.
With their eyes closed, they would feel objects from pumice
stones to pine cones and smell aromatic herbs and exotic fruits.
Then one day, the teacher brought in a great variety of lifesavers,
more flavors than you could ever imagine.
"Children, I'd like you to close your eyes and taste these,"
announced the teacher. Without difficulty, they managed to identify
the taste of cherries, lemons and mint, but when the teacher
had them put honey flavored lifesavers in their mouths, every one
of the children was stumped.
"I'll give you a hint," said the teacher. "It's something your
Daddy and Mommy probably call each other all the time."
Instantly, one of the children spat the lifesaver out of his mouth
and shouted, "Spit 'em out, you guys, they're assholes!"
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