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Children Joke: 46
| Little Joey and Little Danny, both aged 5, are walking home from
school.
Danny says "I won't be going to school tomorrow."
"Why not?" asks Joey.
"I have to go to the hospital," says Danny woefully.
"That's awful," says Joey. "Why do you have to go there? Are you
sick?"
Danny shakes his head and replies, "I have to have a circumcision."
Joey stops dead in his tracks, an expression of complete horror across
his face, "That's Horrible!" he cries, "Why, I had that done when I was
born, and I couldn't walk for MONTHS!!"
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Children Joke: 47
One day shortly after the birth of their new baby, the mother had to go
out to do some errands. So the proud papa stayed home to watch his
wonderful new son. Soon after the mother left, the baby started to cry.
The father did everything he could think of to do but the baby wouldn't
stop crying. Finally, the dad got so worried he decided to take the
infant to the doctor. After the doctor listened to the father all that
he had done to get the baby to stop crying, the doctor began to examine
the baby's ears, chest and then down to the diaper area. When he undid
the diaper, he finds that the diaper is indeed full. "Here's the
problem", the Dr. says. "He needs a change." The father is very
perplexed, " But the diaper package says it is good for up to 10 lbs!"
Children Joke: 48
A man was taking his wife, who was pregnant with twins,
to the hospital when his car went out of control and crashed.
Upon regaining consciousness, he saw his brother, a relentless
world-class practical joker, sitting at his bed side.
He asked his brother how his wife was and his brother replied,
"Don't worry, everybody is fine and you have a son and a daughter.
But the hospital was in a real hurry to get the birth certificates
filed and since both you and your wife were unconscious,
I named them for you."
The husband was thinking to himself, "Oh no, what has he
done now?" and said with trepidation,
"Well what did you name them?"
The brother replied, "I named the little girl Denise."
The husband, relieved, said, "That's a very pretty name!
What did you come up with for my son?"
The brother replied, "Denephew."
Children Joke: 49
Little Johnny catches his parents going at it. He yells in, "Hey,
Pop! What are you doin'?"
His father says, "Son, I'm filling your mother's tank."
Johnny says, "Oh, yeah? Well, you better get a model that
gets better mileage. The postman filled her this morning."
Children Joke: 50
One day the teacher decides to play an animal game. She holds up a
picture of a giraffe and asks if anyone knows what it is. No one
raises his/her hand. The teacher says "See it's long neck? What
animal has a long neck?"
Sally holds up her hand and asks if it is a giraffe. "Very good
Sally," the teacher replies. Next she holds up a picture of a zebra.
None of the students holds up his/her hands. "See the stripes on
this animal? What animal has stripes?" Billy holds up his hand and
says it is a zebra. "Very good Billy," the teacher replies. Next
she holds up a picture of a deer. None of the students recognized
the animal.
"See the big antlers on this animal. What animal has horns like this?"
Still no one guesses. "Let me give you another hint, it's
something your mother calls your father."
Johnny shouts out "I know what it is, it's a horny bastard."
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