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AtWork Joke: 111
| Now I understand what marketing is:
You are at a party and you see a very pretty girl. You approach her and
tell her: "I am very good in bed". That is Direct Marketing.
You are at a party with a group of friends and you see a very pretty
girl. One of your friends approaches her and tells her: "That guy over
there is very good in bed". That is Advertising.
You are at a party and you see a very pretty girl. You ask for her phone
number. The following day you call her and tell her: "I am very good in
bed". That is Telemarketing .
You are at a party and you see a very pretty girl. You recognize her, you
approach her and refresh her memory by telling her: "Do you remember how
good I am in bed?" That is Customer Relationship Management.
You are at a party and you see a very pretty girl. You get up, fix your
tie, pour her a drink, open the door for her, pick up her bag when it
falls and you tell her: "I am very good in bed". That is Public Relations.
You are at a party and you see a very pretty girl. She approaches you and
tells you: "I heard you are very good in bed". That is BRANDING!!
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AtWork Joke: 112
Paddy wanted to be an accountant, so he went for an aptitude test.
Tester: If I give you two rabbits, two rabbits, and another two rabbits,
how many rabbits have you got?
Paddy: Seven!
Tester: No, listen carefully again. If I give you two rabbits, two
rabbits, and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?
Paddy: Seven!
Tester: Let's try this another way. If I give you two bottles of beer,
two bottles of beer, and another two bottles of beer, how many bottles of
beer have you got?
Paddy: Six.
Tester: Good! Now, if I give you two rabbits, two rabbits, and another
two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?
Paddy: Seven!
Tester: How on earth do you work out that three lots of two rabbits is
seven?
Paddy : I've already got one rabbit at home!
AtWork Joke: 113
The Perfect Worker
1 Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found
2 hard at work in his cubicle. Bob works independently, without
3 wasting company time talking to colleagues. Bob never
4 thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always
5 finishes given assignments on time. Often he takes extended
6 measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee
7 breaks. Bob is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no
8 vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound
9 knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Bob can be
10 classed as a high-caliber employee, the type which cannot be
11 dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Bob be
12 promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be
13 executed as soon as possible.
Addendum:
That idiot was standing over my shoulder while I wrote the report
sent to you earlier today. Kindly re-read only the odd numbered
lines.
AtWork Joke: 114
A lumberjack new to the job had trouble meeting his quota. He worked as
hard as he could, but still he could only chop down two or three trees
in a day.His supervisor noticed this, and asked what was wrong. Maybe
his chainsaw was broken. The supervisor turned it on, but it was working
fine.
The lumberjack looked incredibly startled and asked, "What's that noise?"
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