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AtWork Joke: 1
| A young man walked into the local welfare office, marched straight up
to the counter and said, "Hi, I hate drawing welfare. I would really
rather find a job. The man behind the counter replied, "Your timing is
amazing. We've just got a listing from a very wealthy man who wants a
chauffeur/bodyguard for his nympho daughter. You'll have to drive around
in a big black Mercedes, but the suits, shirts, and ties are provided.
Because of the long hours of this job, meals will also be provided. You
will also be required to escort the young lady on her overseas holidays.
The salary package is $200,000 a year.". The young man said, "You're
bullshitting me, man!" The man behind the counter said, "Well, you
started it!"
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AtWork Joke: 2
The boss called one of his employees into the office. "Rob," he
said, "you've been with the company for a year. You started off
in the post room, one week later you were promoted to a sales
position, and one month after that you were promoted to district
manager of the sales department. Just four short months later,
you were promoted to vice- chairman. Now it's time for me to
retire, and I want you to take over the company. What do you
say to that?"
"Thanks," said the employee.
"Thanks?" the boss replied.a "Is that all you can say?"
"I suppose not," the employee said. "Thanks, Dad."
AtWork Joke: 3
A young man, hired by a supermarket, reported for his first day
of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and
a smile, gave him a broom and said, "Your first job will be to
sweep out the store."
"But I'm a college graduate." the young man replied indignantly.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that," said the manager. "Here, give
me the broom, I'll show you how."
AtWork Joke: 4
Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and
a young trainee, were out checking meters in a suburban
neighborhood. They parked their truck the end of the alley and
worked their way to the other end.
At the last house a woman looking out her kitchen window
watched the two men as they checked her gas meter.
Finishing the meter check, the senior supervisor challenged his
younger coworker to a foot race down the alley back to the
truck to prove that an older guy could outrun a younger one.
As they came running up to the truck, they realized the lady
from that last house was huffing and puffing right behind them.
They stopped and asked her what was wrong.
Gasping for breath, she replied, "When I see two gas men
running as hard as you two were, I figured I'd better run too!"
AtWork Joke: 5
A truck driver who had been delivering radioactive waste for the
local reactor begins to feel sick after a few years on the job. He
decided to seek compensation for his ailment.
Upon his arrival at the workers' compensation department, he is
interviewed by an assessor.
Assessor: I see you work with radio-active materials and wish
to claim compensation.
Trucker: Yeah, I feel really sick.
Assessor: Alright then, Does your employer take measures to
protect you from radiation poisoning?
Trucker: Yeah, he gives me a lead suit to wear on the job.
Assessor: And what about the cabin in which you drive?
Trucker: Oh yeah. That's lead lined, all lead lined.
Assessor: What about the waste itself? Where is that kept?
Trucker: Oh, the stuff is held in a lead container, all lead.
Assessor: Let me see if I get this straight. You wear a lead
suit, sit in a lead-lined cabin and the radio-active waste is kept
in a lead container.
Trucker: Yeah, that’s right. All lead.
Assessor: Then I can't see how you could claim against him for
radiation poisoning.
Trucker: I'm not. I claiming for lead poisoning.
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