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Animal Joke: 136
| "What's the difference between the North American porcupine
and the African porcupine," the society matron asked the
zookeeper.
"The principal difference is the North American species has a
longer prick."
This, as you might assume, distressed the matron who
stormed immediately to the zoo manager's office. The zoo
manager said, "Ma'am, I apologize for my staff's unfortunate
choice of terms. What the keeper should have said is the
North American species has a longer *quill*. In fact, their
pricks are just about the same size."
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Animal Joke: 137
You know why a dog licks his ass?
Because he knows in five minutes he'll be licking your face.
Animal Joke: 138
A man tried to sell his neighbour a new dog. "This is a talking dog," he
said. "And you can have him for five dollars." The neighbour said, "Who do
you think you're kidding with this talking dog stuff? There ain't no such
animal."
Suddenly the dog looked up with tears in his eyes. "Please buy me, Sir," he
pleaded. "This man is cruel. He never buys me a meal, never bathes me,
never takes me for a walk. And I used to be the richest trick dog in
America. I performed before kings. I was in the army and was decorated ten
times."
"Hey!" said the neighbour. "He can talk. Why do you want to sell him for
just five dollars?" "Because," said the seller, "I'm getting tired of all
his lies."
Animal Joke: 139
Upon entering the little country store, the stranger noticed a sign saying
DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG! posted on the glass door. Inside he noticed a
harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor beside the cash register.
He asked the store manager, "Is THAT the dog folks are supposed to beware
of?"
"Yep, that's him," he replied.
The stranger couldn't help but be amused. "That certainly doesn't look like
a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?"
"Because", the owner replied, "before I posted that sign, people kept
tripping over him."
Animal Joke: 140
This man goes into the doctor with his ringhole in a terrible state,
really bad now.
Doctor: "What happened to you?"
He says: "I was in Africa on safari and I got raped by an elephant!"
Doctor: "But I don't understand. Elephant penises are very narrow and
couldn't cause that much damage!"
He says "Aah but you see doctor, he fingered me first!"
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