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Animal Joke: 116
| This guy wakes up one morning to find a gorilla in his tree. He looks
in the phone book for a gorilla removal service until he finds one.
"Is it a boy or girl Gorilla?" the service guy asks. "Boy," is the
man's response. "Oh yeah, I can do it. I'll be right there," says the
service guy. An hour later the service guy shows up with a stick, a
Chihuahua, a shotgun, and a pair of handcuffs. He then gives the man
some nstructions: "Now, I'm going to climb this tree and poke the
gorilla with the stick until he falls. When he does, the trained
Chihuahua will bite the gorilla's testicles off. The gorilla will then
cross his hands to protect himself and allow you to put the handcuffs
on him." The man asks, "What do I do with the shotgun?" The service
guy replies, "If I fall out of the tree before the gorilla, shoot the
Chihuahua."
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Animal Joke: 117
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DOGS AND CATS
A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide
me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me... They
must be gods!
A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide
me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me... I
must be a god!
Animal Joke: 118
There once was a baby elephant and a baby turtle drinking from a river deep in the jungle. For
no reason, the turtle reaches over and bites the elephant's tail, really hard.
Years and years later, the same elephant, now grown up, is by the same river, having a drink
with his giraffe buddy, when the same turtle that bit him on the tail all those years ago
wanders up to the river. The elephant rears back a leg and kicks the turtle as hard as he can,
sending him flying way off into the jungle.
"Why did you do that?" the giraffe asks.
"When we both were babies, that turtle bit my tail for no reason," the elephant replied.
"Wow! You must have a good memory!" exclaimed the giraffe.
"Yep!" said the elephant. "I've got Turtle-Recall."
Animal Joke: 119
A robber was robbing a house when he heard a voice. "Jesus is watching
you!" "who's
there?" The robber said But no sound was heard. So he kept going and
he heard it two
more times when he spotted a parrot. "What's your name," the robber
asked. "Cocodora"
said the parrot. "Now, what kind of idiot would name a bird Cocodora"
said the robber.
"The same idiot who named the rotweiler Jesus", said the parrot.
Animal Joke: 120
Three mice are sitting in a bar talking about how tough they are. The
first mouse slams
down a shot and says, "I play with mouse traps for fun. I'll run into
one on purpose and as
it's closing on me, I grab the bar and bench press it twenty or thirty
times." And with that
he slams another shot.
The second mouse slams down a shot and says, "That's nothing. I take
those Decon
tablets, cut 'em up, and snort 'em just for the fun of it." And with
that he slams another
shot.
The third mouse slams down a shot, gets up and walks away. The first
two mice look at
each other, and then turn to the third mouse and ask, "Where the hell
are you going?"
The third mouse stops and replies, "I'm going home to fuck the cat."
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