|
Animal Joke: 106
| Top 15 Household Pet Dishes
15> Angelfish Cake
14> Hamster and Cheese on Rye
13> Chow Chow Mein
12> Bran Muffy
11> Eggs BenjiDict
10> Yorkieshire pudding
9> Shih-Tzu Kabobs
8> Potbelly Pig in a Blanket
7> Shrimp Cockatiel
6> Fettucine AlFido
5> Chicken Poodle Soup
4> Turtlellini
3> Lhasa Thermidor
2> Rex-Mex Enchihuahuas
1> I'll-Teach-You-to-Piss-On-My-Pillow Persian Pancakes
[ This list copyright 1997 by Chris White and Ziff-Davis ]
[ *To forward or repost, please include this section.* ]
[ The Top Five List top5@walrus.com www.topfive.com ]
|
|
Animal Joke: 107
A salesman is talking to a farmer when he looks over and sees
a rooster wearing pants, a shirt, and suspenders. He says,
"What the hell is that all about?"
The farmer says, "We had a fire in the chicken coop and all
his feathers got singed off, so the wife made him some
clothes to keep him warm. There ain't nothing funnier than
watching him try to hold down a hen with one foot and get his
pants down with the other."
Animal Joke: 108
A horse and a rabbit
A horse and a rabbit are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a
mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the rabbit to go and get the
farmer to help pull him out to safety. The rabbit runs to the farm but
the farmer can't be found. He drives the farmer's Mercedes back to the
mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. He then throws the
other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car
forward saving him from sinking!
A few days later, the rabbit and horse were playing in the meadow
again and the rabbit fell into the mud hole. The rabbit yelled to the
horse to go and get some help from the farmer.
The horse said, "I think I can stand over the hole!" So he stretched
over the width of the hole and said, "Grab for my dick and pull
yourself up." And the rabbit did and pulled himself to safety.
The moral of the story: If you are hung like a horse, you don't need a
Mercedes!
Animal Joke: 109
A dog walks into a butcher shop with a purse strapped around his
neck. He walks up to the meat case and calmly sits there until it's
his turn to be waited on.
A man, who was already in the butcher shop, finished his purchase
and noticed the dog. The butcher leaned over the counter and asked
the dog what it wanted today.
The dog put its paw on the glass case in front of the ground beef,
and the butcher said, "How many pounds?" The dog barked twice, so the
butcher made a package of two pounds ground beef. He then said,
"Anything else?" The dog pointed to the pork chops, and the butcher
said, "How many?" The dog barked four times, and the butcher made up
a package of four pork chops.
The dog walked around behind the counter, so the butcher could get
at the purse and take out the appropriate amount of money before
tying the two packages of meat around the dog's neck.
The man, who had been watching all of this, decided to follow the
dog. The dog walked for several blocks and then walked up to a house
where it began to scratch the door to be let in.
As the owner opened the door, the man called to the owner, "That's a
really smart dog you have there."
"He's not really all that smart," the owner replied.
"This is the second time this week he forgot his key."
Animal Joke: 110
Three dogs are sitting in the waiting room of a vets office. One is a
poodle, one is a schnauzer and the other is a great Dane.
The poodle turns to the schnauzer and asks "why are you here?"
The schnauzer responds, "I'm 17 years old. I don't see or hear very well.
I've been having accidents in the house. My owner says I'm too old and sick
so he brought me here to be put to sleep."
The schnauzer asks the poodle "why are you here?"
The poodle responds, "I've not been myself lately. I've been especially high
strung. I've been barking all the time, I've been snapping at people and I
even bit one of the neighbor's kids. Nobody knows why this has been
happening. My owner says he can't risk me biting somebody else so he brought
me here to be put to sleep."
The poodle and schnauzer ask the great Dane why he is here.
The great Dane responds: "My owner is this beautiful runway model. Yesterday
she was walking around the house naked when she suddenly bent down to pick
up something she dropped. She was bent over and naked when nature took over
and the next thing I know I'm on top of her doing the doggie thing. I
couldn't help myself. "
The poodle asks: "so she brought you here to put to sleep?"
"Oh, no...., I'm just here to get my nails trimmed."
< < Prev
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
31
32
Next > >
|
|
